Monday, 22 September 2014

TOP 9 LIES LADIES TELL... true? lol

It is often said (by women) that men lie profusely. So much, that some opine that the devil has become green with envy. I admit, for once, the women are right. Men lie; a whole lot. In fact a fellow writer wrote a detailed list of the lies men tell. 

 However, I put it to the girls/women that though men may lie in quantity, girls/women lie in quality. The kind of lies girls/women have told over the ages have crumbled booming empires, pitched fathers against son Without further ado, here are the top 9 lies girls/women tell…

**ermmm...u know am a lady right so I can't say this against  'us' was written by a guy by name Mike Freesoul but my own opnion will be in blue let the war start:)!*

9. “I’m fine”
A girl/woman will say this to when you hurt her. It sparks the beginning of an evil plot of vendetta.

 (we all know this one sha-_-)

8. “I’ll be ready in a minute”
More like in one hour.

(haa! should we not take time to look good for you guys again? u’ve got to wait 4her, evn if she takes hours to wear her mascara, babes like her are hard to come by. Pls count ur blessings & stop whining:)

7. “I’m not materialistic. I just need a man who will love me”
A great ‘wash’. EVERY woman is materialistic to some degree.

( Yes she’s not materialistic! I mean, does demanding for love (and a Veyron Burgatti) qualify as materialistic? Its only a car anyway!)

6.  “I’m not that type of girl”
Even ‘runs girls’ say this and it leaves me in the bewilderment.

( Naa she’s not! Cos if she were, den she wouldn’t be dating a broke guy like him! Right?)

5“He’s my uncle”
I guess that explains why you sit on his lap, rub his head/belly and call him Chief.

( well he is! Did u run a DNA test to prove otherwise?  Insecurity is not healthy oh*-*)

4. “Lia, lia I don’t bleach o. I only tone”
News flash aunty, toning is bleaching, Case closed.

( well, uhm… *coughs*… U see... d doctor recommended hydroquinone for her skin condition. She has impertigo. U should sympathize wit her and not mock her! (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳

3. “I have only slept with (X) guys before you”
According to Guy Code Mathematics: book 1, that number should be multiplied by 2, 3 or 4 depending on a random variable Y, which is the prevailing circumstances in which this lie is told.

( well… Who’ll cast d first stone!? ( ˘˘̯)

2.  “It’s your baby”
Dear future wife, due to the prevalence of this particular lie in recent times, I may toe the line of my friend’s uncle and conduct a DNA test on the kids. No offense o.

And the number one lie is…drum rolls…

1.  “I’m on period”
I shall comment my reserve here but I can bet the guys agree with me on this one. Lol.

( For where….its cos u guys always ask annoying questions. What are u doin with hau many men she has slept with or wherher she is on her period…..y du want to knw?-_-)

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